I Want to Start a Mandolin Rock Band

My first idea was to troll a thrift store in the dead of winter, playing my Mandolin in a downtrodden Russian tone.

But then another brilliant idea juiced my brain… what if I become a Mandolin Rock Star?!? How many popular Mandolin acts are out there? It can't be that hard. And would I have to keep capitalizing the ‘m’ in Mandolin?

As is the habit with most amazing musicians, I created a track listing before composing any music. Here’s what’s set to appear on my first album, The Ballad of Todd: 


2.) The Ballad of Todd

3.) Electronic Dance Mandolin


1.) Fastidious Narwhal 

2.) Mountain Fever

Like most compact discs, this will have 3 songs on the front, and 2 on the back. And it will be a breakout success.

I’m ready to make a splash. I’m ready to put myself out there. I totally think I can hack the fame. I have spare costumes if I need to escape the paparazzi.

SUCK MY DISCO should go viral before we launch the album. And this will make it pretty easy to move some copies. We’ll be the only transcendent mandolin act around, so we’ll have the market cornered and get rich like huge.