This is what your typical Craig Ryburn scouting report looks like:
Soft hands. Electric arm. Likely an impulsive alcoholic… but good plate skills and a great body. Great body.
A template consisting of four short and ascending colorful sentences. The third being the athlete’s greatest weakness, the fourth explaining that the third doesn’t result in a total loss. Instead of saying “he’s got the tools” in summation of his report, Craig just reintroduces the fact that a good-looking prospect has a “Great Body.” We still do not know why.
Good burst. Quick bat. Lightning fucking temper… but soft hands and a great body. Great body.
His scouting reports are quick and direct. Their best benefit is that they’re easy to remember. Likely due to their hideously intimate nature. But Craig knows this business. And his method of delivery makes sending information up the ranks feel like a breeze-job. That’s why everyone from the Minors to the Bigs knows this guy, and they are all grateful that Craig Ryburn knows them.
Fantastic range. Jeter-like leadership. Once had sex with a Border Collie… but a five-tool player with a great body. Great body.
If you have a character flaw, Craig Ryburn will sniff it out like a blue-ribbon bloodhound. It’s what has kept him in the trade for 34 years. He’s figured out how to put the biggest of everything, on the smallest of tables. Whatever that means.
And sometimes when there really isn’t a daunting character flaw present, the great Craig Ryburn still finds it.
Good nose for the ball. Excellent bat speed. Believes in Flat-Earth Theory… But reads pitchers like Ted Williams. Except with a better body. Great body.
Through this work, Ryburn’s discovered staggering talent. Finding diamonds in the rough more often than an Ivory Coast blood servant.
His track record, in two words? Truly remarkable.
Excellent 60-yard time. Looks natural out on the field. Dangerous cocaine problem… but does home-to-home in 12.1 with a great body. Great body.
Every circle in the scouting profession has been bubbled-in by Craig Ryburn. He’s an ever-present enigma. Concise, and interesting. To the point, but thorough. The style of Craig Ryburn is unique, or should we say was.
Craig Ryburn passed away on April 14th. The greatest influence on Major League Baseball that you’ve never heard of.
Good plate coverage. Sees the ball well out of the pitcher’s hand. Can correctly identify only four state capitals… but great body. Great body.
Rest in peace, Craig.
