For those of you who don't remember previous installments of Dude or Not Dude? I'm sorry. Hopefully they'll resurface from the deep annals of the Internet.
For those of you who do remember the previous installments of Dude or Not Dude? I'm happy.
Hopefully this edition will be just like playing Connect Four® with your Uncle back when you were a young buck, and he was still an alcoholic.
The Great Dudebate rages on...
Dude or Not Dude?
THE SCALE:
1. Not Dude
2. Busted Genitalia
3. Possibly Scandalous
4. Hot Dogs and Skoal
5. DUDE!
Calcio Storico
This game/festival/sporting event/bloodbath has been regarded by many as the "most violent sport on Earth." And from looking at this video, it very well could be. But at TWID, I like to keep things empirical, and so I still need to retrieve the VHS copy of the "Busey Family Football Game, 2009" before I can assert that this really is the world's most dangerous game. For now, I'll just apply a thoughtfully arbitrary rating based on how much the video below makes my biscuits jiggle.
DUDE RATING: 4. Hot Dogs and Skoal
...or for the 7 proclaimed pacifists that read this blog: 2. Busted Genitalia
DUDE RATING: 4. Hot Dogs and Skoal
...or for the 7 proclaimed pacifists that read this blog: 2. Busted Genitalia
Warm Embraces
At the corner of... nevermind
It's not exactly adventurous to say that most people that haven't killed their parents enjoy warm embraces. But TWID doesn't play a "numbers game." Instead, we ponder real-life situations as if they were hypothetical, and then try to fit each and every one of them into a rating system that only Dudes will understand. It keeps us Fresh.
DUDE RATING: 3. Possibly Scandalous
Dog Parks
Hump, hump, hump it up!
Pound-for-pound more humping goes down here than in any SoCal smut set. And even though a dog probably wouldn't know whether or not peanuts belong in the refrigerator, they do know how to have one hell of a time at the dog park. Some dogs lick the sex organs of other strange dogs. Some dogs duel K9 y K9 in Lion King battle fashion. And some dogs just hopelessly wander around looking for places to distribute their infinite stores of urine. All of which is cool in TWID's eyes.
DUDE RATING: 4. Hot Dogs and Skoal
Wet Naps
Red, White, and Boo-Ya!
First, the Cons: they smell like lemon, they need to be unfolded roughly 68 times prior to use, and they make terrible parachutes for miniature Army figurines.
The Pros: They're the inanimate equivalent to Floyd Mayweather, undersized, but with more ounce-for-ounce cleaning power than the bulkier conventional napkin. And when they dry out, they become a napkin.
It's those two facts that drive Wet Naps into the beauty of mediocrity and retrieve a Dude Rating of...
DUDE RATING: 3. Possibly Scandalous
Cats Vomiting
Is a synopsis even necessary? What if I post a few videos and just let you watch? You'll know the rating once you start saying it...
DUDE RATING: 5. DUDE!
