NFL Week 10 In 750 Words
Redzone made the debut of the Octobox, a possibility from an 8-game helping of 1 PM starts. And this is what ensued from that box of Octo, in 750 words. No more. No less. Count them.
The Falcons get grounded while in the battle to remain unbeaten. There aren't many harder places to play or quarterbacks to go up against than the Superdome and Drew Brees. But 8-1 is more than just a consolation prize, holding a three game lead on the Bucs and Saints in the NFC South, and a two game lead on the race for earning a playoff bye week. And while one record couldn't be preserved, another was broken. Tony Gonzalez became the first Tight End in NFL history with 100 receiving touchdowns.
Andy Dalton breaks ginger record for passing yards. It's never easy hosting the Giants, but it's never hard for Andy Dalton to hoist the deep ball. The Bengals pass rush was also Giant-like, and along with the Ginger's deep balls, catalyzed a 31-13 jungle beatdown.
San Diego travels from one warm-weather location to another. This way there were only two expected inconveniences: a 3-hour time change, and Doug Martin. This week the fantasy football messiah was a little hung up, only rushing for 68 yards.
Christian leaves little to Ponder when he can hand-off the ball to Peterson like Jesse Pinkman slinging Chili P to New Mexican meth addicts. And just like a 4 year old reference to Breaking Bad, Peterson rushed like the RV was back in high gear, going for 171 yards in helping to hold back the Lions, 34-24.
Patriots stay undefeated against Bills in Teabag City. The Pats escape the now 3-6 Bills 37-31 to improve to 6-3 and now hold a two game lead on the surprisingly mediocre Dolphins (4-5) in the AFC East. Hard knocks all around in that division as the Jets and Dolphins also went down.
Rex Ryan looks like he's swallowed a tape worm, withering away each week on the Jets sideline going from what looked like 320 lbs. to what appears to be the same weight as Michelle Kwan in her prime. The Jets withered away Sunday too, losing at Seattle 28-7.
Riley Cooper makes a phenomenal catch on a ball that Vick allegedly threw into the stratosphere. The Eagles ended up helping the Cowboys cover the spread, losing 38-23.
Peyton's Place is just about anywhere. Manning maintains his league best QBR throwing for 301 yards and a touchdown. Now you may begin the "first ever comeback player of the year and MVP award winner" discussion. Just not with anyone who wears an Adrian Peterson jersey on Sundays at the bar.
The first tie since 2008 occurred between the Rams and the 49ers. But there was a loss, and it was Alex Smith to a concussion.
The Ravens must be lucky, or they are a well-run organization that knows how to adapt from injury. For weeks talking heads have been prognosticating their downfall, and now they are apparently the softest 7-2 team in the NFL after raiding Oakland 55-20. Even if it was a dysfunctional West coast team at home, the Ravens still manhandled a pro football team. Flacco threw for 341 yards and three touchdowns, and the Ravens offense scored on six of their first seven possessions in the process of remaining overrated.
Titans pull something huge out of their ass. On pace to set a record for points allowed in a season, Tennessee went into Miami and allowed 3. A rejuvenated Chris Johnson rushed for 126 yards, and Rob Bironas set a franchise record (previously held by the great Al Del Greco) for most extra points without a miss (standing at 232) in Tennessee's 37-3 win.
Chicago needs a cotton Schaub after how dirty their home turf became in a 13-6 loss to the Texans. Looking through ESPN's recap of the game and hovering over top performers was like looking over a Ponderosa buffet minutes before close and about an hour after a tour bus filled with obese Senior citizens made a pit stop before carrying onward towards the casino. No palatable food to be found, and the stench of Rascal battery acid still fresh in the air. In other words, Matt Schaub threw for 95 yards, 1 touchdown, and 2 interceptions in a winning effort during a downpour at Soldier Field.
