Unfortunately, what you wear matters to more people than just that flaky girl that you secretly wanted to sleep with back in college. Innately, people make snap judgments, so you must be prepared. After reading this article, look through your wardrobe and see what kind of message you could be sending to people in your "life sphere."
J Crew
My breath reeks of Starbucks coffee.
Lacoste
I’m a real asshole to play sports with.
American Eagle
My parents drove me here.
Polo Ralph Lauren
I have a very conservative ideology mapped out by my Father.
Banana Repbulic
I have skinny legs for a man.
H & M
I have no idea why this shirt is inexpensive.
Express
I dipped into my Chipotle budget so I could dress nice.
Express
I dipped into my Chipotle budget so I could dress nice.
Nike
I think that Scott Van Pelt is God.
Armani
I don’t know how grass gets trimmed.
Affliction
I’d apply hair gel even if I were bald.
RVCA
Life is a Rave, and I am the Glow.
Puma
I play wayyyy too much soccer for my age.
Ecko
My last four rap demos fell upon deaf ears.
Chaps
I really don’t care how wrinkled my shirt gets.
Nautica
I think that 55 year old man walking his Golden Retriever is dressed nice.
Izod
My mom said I could get anything I wanted from JCPenney as long as Jesus would agree that it didn't taint the temple of the Lord.
Adidas
All day I dream about saying something to a girl, but then I don’t.
Aeropostale
I came here straight from high school.
Alfani
I usually "steal the show" at the HR Potluck.
Tommy Hilfiger
This is the shirt I wear when I’m not tending to my garden.
L.L. Bean
I spent three years trying to become a Magician.
Vineyard Vines
I don’t know what color my pants will be tomorrow.
Guess
My mental age is exactly 52.
Old Navy
This shirt was 6 dollars. Fuck Off.
Tapout
I hit up the county fair every Summer.
Champion
I play basketball in windpants.
Hurley
It’s always Spring Break somewhere.
Billabong
This shirt makes my arms look even skinnier.
Hollister
Life is a beach you wear shitty cologne to, a place where you open beer bottles with your flip flops.
Quiksilver
I’m not sure what I think of cargo shorts.
Diesel
I’ve shaved everywhere.
Abercrombie
I have a massive CD storage binder in the backseat of my Camry.
